Resource for mentors and parents about how to explain terror to children and adolescents

The Chronicles of Evidence Based Mentoring, November 18, 2015

"The attacks in Paris raise difficult questions for mentors. Should mentors, teachers, and other caring adults shelter young people from stories and explanations, and shift conversation elsewhere. Although this might be a good idea in some instances, there may be situations when it’s helpful to talk through difficult topics with mentees. Particularly when young people are eager to discuss and understand, events such as this, when handled well, provide mentors, teachers, and other caring adults with profound “teachable moments.” As this powerful New York Times video points out, the best way to start is to respond to the young people’s questions in a clear, compassionate manner that they can understand.

Explaining terror to children

Of course, discussing politics, religion, and world events can be difficult, particularly when there are competing ideas about what is best for our country – ideas that are rooted in differing values, culture, and worldview? Promoting the welfare of a young person does, in many cases, require that mentors build rapport not only with mentees, but also with the mentees’ primary caregivers so that they may develop an understanding of the family’s circumstances, belief systems, and expectations. If mentors lack such sensitivity they can misuse their power with heavy-handed persuasion. Power differentials inherent in the ages and roles of adults and youth can widen when there are also differences in class and cultural backgrounds. Mentors may not even be aware of the social inequities driving these differentials or how these can play out in interpersonal relationships (Fisher, 1997). Mentors may express beliefs or opinions that are at odds with the experiences, values, and beliefs of their mentees, creating conflict for the young person. They should thus strive to refrain from religious or political proselytizing, raise their own awareness of power dynamics in cross-age and cross-cultural relationships, and seek consultation from mentoring programs to effectively negotiate these differentials. Training can be critical to the success of mentoring relationships. Moreover, programs can improve efforts to reach volunteer mentors with backgrounds more similar to the youth being served (Liang & Grossman, 2007)." Read more